Your Most Valuable Values
Personal values. Does that sound cheesy to you? Overly idealistic? Narcissistic?
Why should you find your specific values?
Identifying your personal values and then applying them can simplify your life. Having clear values will reduce the stress of decision-making. It will stop the cycle of repetitive thoughts and self-doubt you encounter when faced with competing options. It will help you rise above feelings and behaviours that are not consistent with who you want to be.
What are personal values?
Values encapsulate what is most important to you, the qualities you want to bring to the world and the traits you want to be known for.
How do you find your personal values?
You are looking for simple but powerful words that represent things you value. You might find these words by pondering:
· If someone asked your friends, colleagues and family to describe you in one word, what word would you want them to use?
· What word would you use to describe the key traits and characteristics evident in the people admire and respect?
You can also refine your values by examining the following areas:
Individual
Within your own mind, thought habits and emotions, how do you want to be?
EXAMPLES: Relentless. Calm. Creative. Analytical. Tough. Curious. Principled. Adventurous. Whimsical. Traditional. Energetic. Focused.
Intimate
In your closest relationships, how do you want to be?
EXAMPLES: Loyal. Honest. Caring. Equal. Strong. Joyful. Reliable. Encouraging. Humorous. Supportive. Beloved. Present. Loving.
In Community
These values describe how you want to relate to the people around you.
EXAMPLES: Kind. Generous. Reserved. Compassionate. Helpful. Host. Bridge-builder. Respectful. Leader. Role Model.
Aspirational
Maybe you aren’t there yet, but at the end of a long life, what traits would you be most proud of?
EXAMPLES: Wise. Visionary. Bold. Humble. Respected. Renowned. Talented. Patient. Skilled. Disciplined. Educated. Successful.
Activities
Think of verbs and actions – what do you love to do?
EXAMPLES: Teacher. Convener. Nurturer. Listener. Communicator. Maker. Reader. Writer. Counsellor. Team builder. Mentor. Fixer. Athlete.
Pick five key values. Maybe pick one from each category. Or just choose the five words you feel most strongly about.
Write them in the notes app on your phone or on good old fashioned paper.
And reflect on them – over a week, a month, several months. Do these words continue to resonate? Do these values reflect who you want to be? Do these values need to shift a little bit? Or does your behaviour need to adjust because your ideal values are distant from your daily reality?
When faced with a decision, do your personal values help you make a choice or adopt a behaviour that you feel is right, even if it isn’t easy?
If not, keep exploring and refining. If your chosen continue to resonate, then delve deeper. Define what that value means to you in action and let it be a guide to you, in difficult times and in perfectly uneventful times.
Looking for more resources about personal values? Click the links below:
James Clear’s Core Values List
